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[Not] Keeping It Together. [Feb. 23rd, 2013|08:26 pm]
Hi Future me.

Days/weeks like these, I wish I can have the freedom to break down and cry, throw a few tantrums or two just to get my way.

Instead I fester stolidly on, swallowing it up inside, eating me up from within.

It's not healthy, it's not typically me, but then again,what is me, typically? I have so many sides sometimes I confuse myself.

This feeling roils in my intestines and makes me a little bit sick. Of myself, of my life, of my confusion. i feel like a little ship out in sea, not knowing where I'm headed. There's life teeming under the surface -- colourful coral and beautiful aquatic creatures, but I'm reluctant to head down to see for myself.

Maybe I'm afraid I can't come back up.
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Hello, again [Oct. 27th, 2011|12:34 am]
[Current Music |Adele]

I heard that you settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
'Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,'
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
'Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.'

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
'Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.'

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
'Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
'Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.'
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Musings [Mar. 18th, 2011|12:50 pm]
[Current Mood |benevolent ]
[Current Music |Amy Winehouse]

I think this may be due to exhaustion, feeling burnt out or a creeping sense of mortality as my birthday inches nearer...

I feel pointless that my search for myself isn't over. Everyday is a struggle where I am chastened to find out the gut feeling I trusted sometimes fail me. It's been 25 short years but I have yet to dance like no one is looking, love like I'm not afraid, or bravely chase my dream.

I sometimes wonder if idealism tempered by practicality have caused me to limit myself, if sensibility has ever caused me to protect myself and made me a robot. On a sidenote, it has given me one hell of a poker face.

I feel this terrible weariness, this ache to break away from what I've entrapped myself with, to pursue my dream and to shun away all what normal routine dictates.

Maybe all I need is just a long break and a trip away from this country. It's suffocating. The bland apathetic faces and the questions one faces when straying away from the norm - why aren't you married? Why are you working in such a place? Why are you so afraid? Oh god. It's so hard to breathe.

25 years and I have nary an idea why I'm here for. Perhaps it's time to find out.

Posted via LjBeetle
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(untitled) [Mar. 12th, 2011|02:16 am]
[Current Mood |pensive]

Dear J,

You do not trust me because I scare you.
You do not trust me because I possess the answer to your every insecure question.
You do not trust me because I know you more than you do.
You do not trust me, because you cannot trust yourself.
It's alright. Burning bridges are your style because you think by disconnecting yourself you'll be the person in your imagination - Chuck Fucking Finley. You wish.

x,
F


Yesterday, as I was the image of bemused calm amidst the rowdy, drunk white jerks, I realised that I still possessed the ability to feel.
I possessed the ability to feel the pang, however slight, of loss as you smiled awkwardly at the girl who seemed determined to possess you.
I possessed the ability to feel the slight heartbreak as I realised that reality is oft not what my imagination sought out to be.

I missed you, and I have nobody but myself to berate.
I missed you, and I have nobody.
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Beachbum [Nov. 13th, 2010|11:29 am]
[Tags|]
[Current Mood |Peaceful]

Currently in a foreign land where time left alone. Curiously I created an environment for myself to be unaware of time and date, so much so that I'm currently not feeling any impending sense of doom and dread for any upcoming deadline.

And it feels good.

On a sidenote, I think it's a fantastic idea for my first holiday from being an executive to be by the beach. The clear sea, beautiful beaches and beautiful people makes it so bloody amazing. I now know why farangs love this place.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Bonjour [Oct. 1st, 2010|06:10 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |Singapore, Singapore]
[Current Mood |content]

Bonjour - literal translation of 'Good' & 'Day' in French

Today would be what I'll like to sum up as a Good Day. 

No latent emails of sheer potency, no overtly high stress levels on my Off Day (I did Come Close to a Meltdown past midnight though)

September seems to have wonderfully closed with all my deadlines met and projects smooth. 

In this moment I will revel.

Now, to do something about that social life of mine...
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Sheer Inertia [Sep. 28th, 2010|04:35 pm]
[Current Mood |busy]

 
(via JaknJill)

Super lazy to go to work...but since I can work from home...

I'm dealing with a great load of projects at hand. And a few zits. And a few sniffles.

Nothing like all these crap to make me feel like a superwoman! 

WORK! W O R K *turns delirious* 
(via JaknJill)

Nothing like the Dolce boys to make you feel like a woman, and an ugly one at that too. 
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Zippin' it [Sep. 11th, 2010|01:31 am]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |In bed]
[Current Mood |Sleepy]

September opened with a stressful note. Just two months into my newly promoted role, I was faced with challenges my predecessors probably dealt with ease: a serious deficit in manpower and a great looming giant called "Events".

Life was stressful, with work seeping into every avenue of it, till I was literally eating, breathing and thinking about work 24/7. It wasn't healthy but I think there was no other way about it...quitting, I guess was the secondary alternative but I never liked quitting...because I quit so easily and that's something I'm ashamed about.
So when an email came with the subject "Management Appreciation Day ZIP-travaganza" declaring that we had a staff bonding sesh with everyone that was an executive and above, I developed mixed feelings about it. It made me think how much I wanted to embarrass myself in front of my fellow colleagues, but it also made me look forward to a source of stress relief from what I was facing day in and out.

However on the day itself I almost didn't attend because I was having a rather challenging work day itself. Many hiccups happened and I guess I couldn't help but feel a tad burnt out.

Eventually I dragged my half-willing body to the event location with another rookie manager Serene, both of us whom, with a third colleague Hao, had rose to our current position together in the same month.

The route up to the Megazip park was hilarious..it was pitch dark and we needed to constantly chatter in order not to freak ourselves out. There was this one moment when something rustled in the bushes beside us which caused us to scream like a bunch of B-grade horror movie actresses...it was painful trying to climb uphill while hysterically laughing/wheezing at the same time.
More...Collapse )

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Idyllic [Aug. 12th, 2010|06:13 pm]
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Toot's place]

Today is such a blissfully nothing day. Met Toots who happened to be wearing the opposite colored sandals I was.


It feels good to do something without worth about yesterday, tomorrow or the future. But now I'm reluctant to work!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Amor Spes Fides [Jul. 3rd, 2010|12:59 am]
[Tags|]

I was looking for quotes on weddings, and I found this:

There are three things that last: faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.
- I Corinthians 13:13


At the risk of sounding incredibly mushed up, I'd like to believe it's not a coincidence my username is as such. (:
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